Personality uniquely defines oneself; in other words, personality is the set of characteristics that distinctly identifies one person from another. One’s personality is usually set by experiences and knowledge that helps to deal with the matters that arise as life goes on. Personality development can lead to succeful outcomes in life. However, an abusive personality is a specific kind of personality that is harmful to others as well oneself.
As any other personality would display signs and characteristics of their type, an abusive personality reveals characteristics that are generally considered as warning signs. Although the display of these signs does not necessarily imply that one has an abusive personality, a greater number of warning signs suggest a greater inclination towards abusiveness. The specific traits that are displayed include, excessive jealousy, possessive and dominating behavior. It is not surprising that the abusive person will hide their dominative behavior in an act of love and concern which the victim will tend to fall for, but with the passing of time this behavior will escalate and become serious presenting dominance and control by threatening and influencing. A person with an abusive personality would also try to seclude the other party from any social interactions by inhibiting them to associate with friends or relatives.
Another characteristic of a person with an abusive personality is holding impractical expectations. The person may expect others to be perfect and, then may even blame them for not standing up to his/her expectations. Furthermore, the person will always deny responsibility for any violent or negative acts caused by him/her. Usually, the person would blame the other party for the committed acts of violence stating that they prompted him/her to act in that manner.
An abusive personality would also compel the person to be hypersensitive and therefore, they are easily offended or disturbed. As a result, relatively small day-to-day events may cause the person to lose his temper. Sudden mood swings would also occur in a person with an abusive personality causing him/her to act as a very caring and loving person one moment and suddenly, turn into an aggressive person, the next. Verbal abuse is also common among the persons with an abusive personalities, through which he/she would frequently humiliate the victim using cruel and strict comments.
There are conseling and guidance services that can help those with an abusive personality and assist them in overcoming it. It should be remembered that it is not a shame to look for help if you or someone you know has an abusive personality. No one wants to be a victim of an abuser and no one should be abusively treated.